So many of us speak in the language of complaints. “This___ is what is wrong with that.”“You don’t ever listen to me.”“How come I’m always the one who has to _______ ?” What does it get us? Not many people want to listen to our litany. And they...
Dear Abby, My daughter’s husband is sending me suggestive texts. How do I confront him? Dear Abby, A friend did something awful. I have been cold and distant, but I want to send a letter toconfront her. Dear Abby, When I invite friends over, they always bring...
A better approach I am often called to mediate a workplace "personality conflict”—shorthand for two or more people do not get along. Their personalities are fine, but they likely have vastly different communication styles, leading to miscommunication, lack of understanding, and feelings of disrespect. Some, quickly get...
There’s nothing like a good family gathering to bring out some really bad behavior. Unfinished business will join us over the dinner table, even if we just want to pass the potatoes. When strong feelings are in the air, we are more likely to head back...
From name calling to violence, this election is bringing out our worst. It is absolutely important to confront prejudice and bigotry whether it happens in person or online. Still, there are those from the other side of whatever views we hold, who deserve to be heard....
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Chinese proverb We humans have been programmed for centuries for fight, flight or freeze. While that might have saved our ancestors from the woolly mammoth, it is overkill in...
Communication is most productive when words match intentions. Lack of self-awareness can color our speech, unintentionally flavoring what we say with anger or sarcasm. The listener then picks up the bad feeling, and reacts to the feeling rather than the words. Asking, “what is my intention?”...
Lend an E.A.R. to High Conflict by Linda Gryczan Most of us have encountered high conflict people. You know the type—surrounded with drama, often angry and behaving badly. They blame other people for their problems, and go on the attack instead of creating solutions. While everyone gets angry,...
Someone is dragging your name through the mud. Your response will depend on who is doing the talking and if your professional reputation is on the line. Your children might report bad mouthing from your ex. While your first reaction might be to respond in kind, doing so...
Difficult conversations are a part of life. You and an ex need to make a mutual decision. Perhaps you have to fire an employee or bring up an issue with a neighbor. While no one looks forward to such conversations, here are some ways to...